another series in my life...

well.....eerrrmm....

now i think i'm in stable mood...hehehe...no la...juz kidding...i know lately i'm abit moody....in a sad-sad time la konon...hahaha....

yup....that's right....lately macam-macam yang berlaku pada diriku....semua perkara berlaku pada suatu masa yang sama....happy...sad...confused....hate and all sorts of feelings which can make you heart and soul plus your body turns out in real -pain-

enough with mixture of remedy in uni life....i decided to went back home....diarah dan mengarah dan terarah...hahaha...

at first....my dad asked me go out fishing...errmm fishing...well actually i'm not into this kind of activity....i've been doing this activity quite a lot la...with my parents and my sis plus my bro...just that 'bahang kepanasan' make me avoid this kind of activity..hehehe...but since my dad dah berapa kali madah 'pegi x en?'...so i pun setuju jak lah...

yup...have lots of things happen that day....actually banyak juaklah ikan mek orang dapat...and panas ya...ya ampun...nang berangat woi....nasib bait x nampak glak kenak sun burn...mun ndak...nang ber cucumber jak muka aku tiga ari tiga malam.....hehehe...

then....lepas balit dari fishing....tido kejap...hehehe...time malam ya apa gik...nangga AF...

well...aku xla brapa nak minat AF...musim lepas mun aku nang xambik tauk glak pasal rancangan tok...coz makin hari makin ntah apa-apa jak intipatinya...tapi musim tok aku nangga adalah peningkatan ckit...ckit ok...! xbanyak...and event transformasi yang di gembar gemburkan pun belom menampakkan hasil...come on...gney nak molah transformasi dalam masa sesingkat ya?...nak ngidup Spirulina platensis aku pun memerlukan masa yang lamak....apatah agik nak transform org yang ala2 zero to walla~...herm....

tegal aku nangga AF....coz hafiz jak....hehehe...aku minat hafiz bila aku first nangga nya berduet ya....coz b4 tok nang aku xbrapa nak minat AF nak...so xla ambik pot glak show ya...tetiba malam ya tek kepingin benar nak nangga..hahaha...and ya....he can sing...x sakit telinga nengar...yang lain ya...besa-besa jak la...bukan nak nganok or what...it just that they just normal jak...xda apa-apa yang boleh membuatkan aku madah..wow...bestnya sora nya tok...xda....

and malam ya...hafiz ngembak lagu yang aku boleh dikatakan suka la...hehehe...and ya...ok jak lah kot...xla gney2 pun...hahaha...yang lain ok...aril and akim pun ok...but not yazid la...aku xtauk kenak nya boleh masuk AF?...claudia ok...Isma...(no comment...)...mak org teringin nak jadi penyanyi...errmm apa ka?!...aisha...malam ya nang nya mbak x besh....and action tangannya over la...nya cute la juak...tapi bila tang tangan ya...eerrrmmm.....kill that action plz~

then tetiba hp ku berbunyi...'en kat cney tok?pa polah'....oohhh..cdah rupanya...

'tengah nangga AF tok..pahal?'

'ambik usu lok...usu kat opis tok...kak AF ambik k'

and ya....after that show aku pun bergaut nyetat enjen keta...nak g ngambiknya...ku angkut skali my sis and my cousin...k neman tek nak...drive kul 11 malam ke kuching...nang bergaya mun sorang2...

dah area b4 desa ilmu..tetiba i got msg from her saying that no need 2 pick her up coz late already....ya rabbi tuhan jak tauk betapa geram nya aku ngan manusia bernama cdah...and then mek 3 decide gi 7e jak la..minum slurrpy....but aku yg kenak blanja cdak...tegal apa...? tegal maksa cdak masuk 7e ngan pijama....hahaha...lawak eh....ala...aku pun baju ya ala2 pijama juak...tapi blasah jak...takat 7e apa jak la...

ya perkara yang berlaku pada hari sabtu....then hari sun la pulak...

nothing much ku polah time ya coz nang nak berehat..juz that...pagi2 ya my mom bz tolong cik ya makan 100 hari arwah anaknya...me...?...sorry cik ya...xdapat tolong apa....coz busy molah spagthetti time ya....my sis la...gago nak molah benda ya k nya mbak balit poly....macam2...but spaghetti aku yg xbrapa nak itali ya kenak puji leh geng2 nya kat cnun..(kembang idong timey ka k...hehehe)...

and dari plan nak molah spaghetti ya jak tek nak bertukar kepada aksi ulam-mengulam...hehe...sapa gik mbak palak mun x cdah ya tek...tegal takut di anok leh nenek aku coz aher pulang umah...nya g melepak umah mek org...first thing ya nya nanyak...'ada asam umah tak org?..usu nak berulam eh'...eerrmmm

tapi aku x berulam pun...ku biar nya ngan my sis bergasak kat dapur ya...hehehe...me..continue eating my icecream....hehe yummy~....

actually juz macam ya jak pun dah dapat menghiburkan ati aku yang banyak glak toxin~ tok....enough with all the emo....i just wanna have fun till the end of my uni life...

love_piece

as the world turn me down....

world says: ok...enough...give up!

hope whispers: nope...give it a try...one more time...

this is what suffocated me awhile...

as i want to try another time....i'm scared of the outcome....the the evil part of me said 'ok that's enough'

dear miss evil and miss angel:

why you make my life so complicated? am i that stupid to be fooled by you two? i've once being fooled by them, and now you're turn? come on, give me some space to live here. i am human, why can't you be nicer, even for once? now maybe the last time for me, as there is no more...but why even till now u can't tolerate? why both of u hate me soo much?

dear old character...

From a far
I saw your smile
It’s bring sunshine to me
Even I know that smile never meant for me
Today I saw you sour face
My heart beating like in race
Cracking my head to wonder why
Even I failed I still want to try
Forever hope you are mine
Even though is out of mind
My wishful dreaming is worth to try

coming to end of my journey

i saw that face

but now with mix feeling

love, hate, confused, hope

forever hope it changed after a while

but wishing it never die

lock inside my precious heart

forever as it's you that worth

for now...

am i too greedy all this while?

love_piece

~

i didn't know why my tears keep running today...yesterday....and yesterday....i wish i knew why but seems like i'm clueless..

dear...
as much as i wanna be strong...i've lost to tears
as hard i try to forget...i've failed
may time cure it fast as it's really over...and I'll open a new chapter....

before new chapter in my life started....

dear...
it started at that christmas...
how i wish it never ended in the next christmas...
and my dream came true...
but it ended today...
im sure when i look at you
you will never be the same anymore
to me...
as i'm used to be feel that way...
but now everything changed to zero..
back to where it was...
you now become my past
and you now become my new...
before im opening a new chapter in my life....
let the tears running and i shed my tears...
i'm happy...well at least....

love_piece

wah~

tanggal 5.47 am april 23, 2009.....hidup n matiku ditentukan.....plz...give some response.....

sshhhh......

now....4.20 am...
yeah....what am i doing at this hour?...of coz....finishing my unsettle business and fussiness of my almost ending day at uni...eerrrmmm...

juz now one of my friend send me msg saying why so hard to get me in contact...sorry pal...not that i'm busy or what...it just that i'm sooooo busy...not only with my super duper important task before graduating....also my end coming undergrad uni life.....how to deal with 3 things in 1 time?..i just follow what my heart wanna do la....easy....

for the last 2 weeks, aku dah macam kutu-kutu malam...eh...dah macam minah remp-it la pulak...ahakz~...why....masa tido aku....adalah pada pkul 8-1 petang..yup....and masa siang aku pulak....other than that hours la....entahla...and i'm now soooo addicted to coffee...if my family know this....
but this is the wonderfull undergrad lifestyle that i'm gonna miss....ney da tempat lain gik ku dapat molah kedak ya....kat rumah...jangan harapla....mun baruk balit dari uni...cuti sekejap2 ya boleh la my parents terimak....mun cuti ala2 seminggu and more...molah lifestyle kedak ya...nang kenak sindiran panaz....hehehe....

one of my friend say i'm lagging...hehehe...am i?...mayb kot....i'm hardly knows lot of thing happending at my surrounding...eh jap...aku kan 'kiah'...'kiah' di imagine kan seorang yang suka menyebok and ala2 astro bergerak gitu...hehehe...but...tok 'kiah' alaf baru...zaman mellenium...

dalam se busy busy aku (or aku buat2 busy...)...tertiba hati terdetik...kenapa sukar untukku meng express my own feeling...am i not truthful to my self?....berkata memang senang...mengarah memang mudah...tetapi...melakukannya memerlukan kekuatan....kesan dari tindakan perlu di ambil kira...damn..(menyumpah lagi aku ni)....
banyak pendapat yang ku titip dari sekeliling menyuruh aku meluahkan saja apa yang terbuku di hati...dan terpulang kepada empunya diri untuk marah, terkejut, kecewa atau apa saja yang dia rasa....terhadap apa yang bakal ku katakan...aku ingin jujur...pada dirinya dan juga diriku....salahkah untuk aku bertindak sebegitu?...

tetapi terlalu banyak pertimbangan yang harus ku fikirkan...ku tambah, darab, bahagia malahan tolak dan peratusan...masih belum ketemu jawapan....kadang-kala terlampau banyak berfikir menyebabkan sesuatu terbantut....tetapi jika tiada pertimbangan...kemungkinan bahana yang menimpa tidak harus ditolak tepi...huh~

kadang aku terfikir...kenapa manusia diberi banyak pilihan tetapi hanya mampu memilih satu?...manusia memang tamak...memang sifat semulajadi....janganla mengaku diri xtamak...aku pun sama...aku inginkan semuanya....aku inginkan semuanya berjalan dengan lancar...semakin ku menginginkan ia, semakin jauh ia untuk ku gapai....ia pula seolah bermain layang-layang...tauk nak pa maksudnya...ces~...

k...i'm talking too much....i wanna be transparent...but being transparent can cause me in deep trouble..confict in my self...i wanna people know my feeling...but i am too shy...or u already knew it?...kekekeke.....

love_piece

Rachan day out...

jeng...jeng...jeng.... tetiba tangan ku bz jak nak tapi kat keyboard tok....k nak cita pasal apa o?...eerrmm pasal rachan jak la....kus2....

ok....dah nak g Rachan dah tok....
me and Sasa busy berpolah ngan sandwich....actually...tok la first time polah sandwich dengan kelengkapan yang kurang lengkap....yalah...kat umah almost semua ada...tapi kat ctok....semua limited edition....but in the end....jadilah juak sandwich ya....
then....mike gney nak ngengkah sandwich ya.....hehehe....taperware nang cute-miut jak yang ada........so...we decide....make mangkuk tingkat jakla....
peristiwa yang paling ...well i can say...memalukan was....

we need to go to lab that morning....
and kita org pegi ranchan pun morning gak....so....have to bawak tat mangkuk tingkat to the lab....wat!?...ngembak benda ya g lab....yup.....dahla berjalan kaki gik ya g lab...dengan mangkuk tingkat di tangan...fuh....malu wei....
but tahan jakla.....blasah jak.....dalam hati..." suka ati aku la...nak ngembak benda tok...."
k....then dengan biak junior2..(padah jak la cdak junior coz muka2 cdak nang x familiar kat aku) nangga semacam jak....me and sasa dengan muka coolnya berjalan dengan eksen nya kat lobby and ke lab....g lab mak mangkuk tingkat....xpenah dipolah oleh org kat ctok kali....nasib bait pagi ari...x banyak glak org.....

end of story mory kat lab....
then...cita kat ranchan....
at first nasib x sesat....tpi fui mei sesat juak...tegal sign yg mengelirukan....
and oooofff course...we had great great great timey....bila semua geng sama palak....plus ada yg gila2.....mmg besh ...pa jak activity pun semua mok join n x molah muka malu untuk join...kompom besh....hehehe..( terkenang time2 duduk kat ayek....)

antara kenangan time kat ranchan....


makan timey with sasa



fav pic....nice!

me and sasa...self posing...

makan....nang kenyang...dengan mee hoon yang dipolah geng dak yaya,tata n kid-kid....soodap....and of cozla sandwich mek duak....

then...tengah syok2 mek org enjoy...tetiba tepon aku berbunyi....

oohh no...nana tepon....dengan mengisyaratkan member2 aku untuk diam....aku menjawab panggilan dengan penuh berhati2....mun nana tauk apa di polah aku...nang kecoh wei....mati aku kenak bunuh ala2 mona affendi gitu.....

"hello....hau polah apa?...kat cney tok....pahal x balit gik?"suara nana kedengaran....kk...neves2 dah nak menjawab...
"oohh...aku gik busy tok...pahal?"...ces...jawapan...
"eh....ney kunci bilit hau?...aku nak merik baju tok? dah nak sampei unimas tok?"
oohh..tegal baju tek duhal....hehehe...sebenarnya....aku xda mbak baju kurung pun...kan kawen kazen aku...xkan nak makey jeans n shirt jak kot....nak ke pelik jak org nangga...macam xda adat la pulek....
"oohh...ada ku ninggal kunci tempat besa tek....pkul brapa hau nak g? banyak org tek?" tanyaku lagi.
"ooohh kak tok ku gi. nang banyak pun.semua ada kat ctok...hau sorang jak xda...semua org nanyak cney hau. bila gik hau nak balit tok?"
"ooh ku gik da keja tok..esokla ku balit." ces...penipuan lagi. memangla aku ada keja...keja berfoya-foya dengan geng2 aku...ahakz!....

nasib baik...memang nasib baik....sasa pun muka ala2 neves gitu..nak mampus mun rahsia aku pecah....ooohhh....nooo.....hehehe....

and yeah....we have again...great timey...sempat polah mesyuarat dalam ayer lagik....pasal dinner ...almaklum ketua PBB yg merangkap ketua Dinner biotech 69 busy meminta pendapat regarding our dinner....lots of ideas n ideas n ideas for our dinner...and also about Mr.Chin...hehehe

more images.....

...eeerrmmm binatang pa ka tok?...

..kkk...mek org posing....cdak laki macam besa....terlebih posing...hehehe(sak jak dak pompuan lebih dan kurang jak...hehe)

....

..senyuman mesti ada...walaupun sejuk...

...kan...kan....senyum tetap maintain....wah hoho n abe...

dah cukup dengan sejuknya dalam ayer....busy gik g kat jambatan gantung...ala2 la...xlah gantung gilak pun....then...ready to balik....
huhuhu sedey jak nak balit...sa mok jak masa tok berhenti....but b4 balit...mek org ada after ranchan plan gik...macam2 la cdak tok...almaklum hoho and jun2 puasa tek nak.....ada la plan makan2 ngan cdak....

ready 2 go back to hostel....n ready to kuar gik malam....

hehehe...k la....thats all kot untuk coret2 ranchan day out....tengah xda mood nak polah keja tok..thesis lom siap gik....study pun lom gik tok...apa nak jadi ngan aku tok...? huhuhu...



love_piece

mencarut....

it's been a long time.....alasan : busy
ntahla....busy....sememangnya itulah alasan yg selalu diberikan apabila gagal menepati/melunaskan sesuatu perkara.....

aku?...busy?....sememangnya aku busy...atau aku buat-buat busy?....ntah...nowadays my life becme complicated ...or can i say....i am the reason of the complication? gosh....

tapi sememangnya aku busy...aku sepatutnya busy tika ini...why?

1. i need to start n finish my writing...thesis....i juz love it and i suddenly hate it sooo damn much....why? because this is the first reason of my life complication....yeah....i know it sound..****

2. coffee....why mr smell nice guy? because i've run out of it and i need it sooo much....huhuhu....no nescafe....change to coffeemix (roomate aku pun...aku bantai jak...) without nescafe....my life....miserable....but with it...i mean if too much....it cause my insanity goes to the highest level....me...insane?....or insanity has become me?....duh!

3. facebook....? what...how come ...?because di saat aku pelukan FB....dia buat perangai...i mean....this connection....es stupido....bla...bla....bla....really hate you rite now, mr FB....eehhh wait?....how come i'm soo addicted with FB?....yay!

4. radio.....busy with this show....suppose to entertain me ...but instead it give me headache.....radio...shut up...(but i can't,....without it..i'm alone...the quietness give me madness....the feeling of unsettleness ....)....huh!

5.carbon dioxide....spirulina platensis....light...photosynthesis....sodium bicarbonate...what it's all about = circus....why?....i just wanna laught....( dah ku madah...aku busy dengan benda tok....dan benda tok nyuruh ku busy....jadi org xbrapa nak btol dalam bilit tok...dan menyebabkan tahap kewarasanku berasa di tahap yg paling bawah...)

oh god....please help me to endure this and these problems before aku hilang kewarasan.....dan menyebabkan aku meng up side down kan benda2 dalam bilik tok..(serius tok eh....mun ngamok...apa jak boleh terjadi dengan aku...roomate aku and barang2 lam bilit tok....dush..!)

.....tetiba aku teringatkan sesuatu....

"when i ask god for strenght....He give me problems to be solve..."

thanks dear friend for this....

then i saw something at my wall....written...:

"da feeling of unsettleness comes hunting me...around with all the dumbness and all the shitness...will pieces of epik comes and rescue me? or letting me drowning in the sea of F***ness...ohh...if just the damness that matters...?"...

ok...ok...ok...i noe how it sounds...with all the words...

really.....aku memang dah out...out...and out.....of ....huh!...

love_piece